NO SEX PLEASE IM AN ABSTINENCE GEEK

ABSTINENCE,this is a word that a lot of people do not like, an amazingly some people may not even be able to tell you the meaning of the word because it's not in their vocabulary or sphere of thinking. To most teenagers and young people this word is almost synonymous with “being lame” or simply ”having no game”. When you claim abstinence it’s just an excuse because you “can’t get any”. It is something that a lot of people run away from cause it’s got some sort of stigma and when you say you are for abstinence, it makes you sound like a religious fanatic of the David Koresh, Jim Jones type.

The Encarta dictionary defines Abstinence as self denial: restraint from indulging a desire for something e.g. Alcohol or sexual relations .

In recent years an organisation called the "Silver Ring Thing™ , are helping teens realise that they are not on their own and that they have support. Just like those that want to give up smoking or loose weight have support groups. SRT is an organisation that help teen realise that they do not have to go with the flow, of promiscuity and sleeping with that person you "love". And it's trying to be an alternative to Sex Education.
There have been vindictive attacks against the programme claiming that it doesn't work and it's unhealthy to promote it. What i want to know is , if you never drink can you get drunk? , if you never do drugs can you become an addict ? If you don't discipline yourself change your diet and exercise can you ever lose weight. Those that say it doesn't work , just don't want to admit that they like sex too much to give it up. The sex education that has been taught for many years, teenagers are still getting pregnant, and contracting STD's . Condoms are scientifically proven to have a failure rate ad are not 100% guaranteed. If you were about to jump out of a plane, and you were told there was a chance it wouldn't open due it's nature from manufacture, would you still jump out, or wait till it's 100% safe?

As a red blooded male , my sexuality is something that I have encountered for many years. Being a tele addict did not really help matters. The numerous teen shows,drama and soaps with the perfect guy and perfect girl , locking lips as a show of their affection to each other clashed with the inner part of me that said that level of intimacy was not right for a dating relationship. I’m not going to sit here like a sanctimonious ass hole, and let on a tirade of self righteous condemnation. I have the desire too , to have a beautiful girl on my arm, riding shot gun in my car and kiss her good night when I drop her off at home.
Some couples do agree to take the vow of abstinence , but compromise. Engaging in long periods of heaving kissing and petting and sometimes even oral sex, giving themselves the excuse that "it's not penetration" and we didn't going “all the way” is just deceiving yourself.

There is a saying that goes “if you’re not going to cook , don’t go into the kitchen” .You can't expect to play with fire and not get burnt. Kissing and petting are forms of foreplay which is meant to lead to sex, this is something that lot’s of people fail, or rather refuse to understand. They think they can control themselves, and put on the brakes just before launching off from third base. But that’s like being handed the keys to a Porsche on the Auto Bahn, and telling your self that you are not going to speed, or staying on the start line of a Formula 1 race, you continuously rev your engine and take off, and just before you cross the finish line you jam on the brakes, do that enough times and one day your brakes will fail. Ever heard the expression “one thing led to another and it just happened”. Nothing just happens, every thing in life is a consequence of an action .
It’s not easy as a Christian dealing with the fact that you can’t engage in the physical pleasure(yeah, that’s what it is) that is part of “normal” relationships, if temptation didn’t involve pleasure or enjoyment it wouldn’t attract you now would it? So if I can’t touch and kiss my girlfriend/boyfriend, what else can we do? Just hold hands, that’s boring!
Look, I don’t all or any of the answers cause I myself am still searching for them. However what I do have is a few suggestions.

1. Don’t date someone that doesn’t share your belief in abstinence
By doing this you are setting yourself up for a fall right from the get go. It may seem that none of the Christian girls/guys are hot or even fun. But two can not walk unless they agree. It’s harder for someone on the ground to pull down someone on a ladder than vice versa.
There have been some girls that I have had a thing for, and I had a chance with them if I made the move, but because I knew they didn’t share my stand ,and as much as it hurt( and boy did it hurt) I kept my relationship platonic. We can’t give into every attraction or desire we have .

2.Never let yourself be in a place that you have no chance of being disturbed
The classic sexual invitation we see on television and in the movies, is “ my parents are out of town, we have the whole place to ourselves” that pretty much speaks for it’s self. Besides, something creepy like an axe wielding psychopath usually shows up anyway, so to be for warned is to be forearmed, lol.

3.Be careful what you let in through your eye and ear gates
Increasingly in the past few years , television is becoming more and more "liberal"। The most successful shows in recent years have a 87% sex premise, from Sex and The City, to Desperate Housewives, to the more recent The Tudors and Skins, Sex has become an Olympics sport to which lead characters are competing for gold medals.

When we continuously watch shows like those it gives us the idea that it's a normal part of life and behavior. Promiscuity is glorified and the consequences of such a life are never shown .
The songs and radio shows we also listen have the same great effect. Listening to shows were people are talking about how many people they've slept with in the last month , is definitely not healthy listening. Neither is it listening to artist who tell you "i don't see nothing wrong, with a little bump and grind". Point of note, that artist is still having court issues, because of a certain video of his that made its way to the internet.

4.Realize that a relationship is a lot more than making out(snogging) and knocking boots(knobbing)
A lot of relationships have a “strong” foundation based on their physical attraction and desire for each other, but if you take away all that what is left. What else draws you to that person except wanting to lock lips(and other parts) with them? Is there anything else that will keep you two going? I’ve always had the policy that no matter how hot a girl is , and no matter how much we dig each other, if there is no foreseeable future, other than I think you’re cute, I know you think I’m cute too, let’s go out. I don’t bother.

Try this little experiment. Go one week without kissing or caressing your partner,Just spend time in conversation. If you can't do this, this would give you an idea of what your relationship is based on.

Learn to create restrictions and accountability.

If all else fails, you have legs, USE THEM .It worked for Joseph ,it will work for you.Many are of the self deceiving and defeating belief that they can resist temptation in the face of it. Taht they can hit the brakes when it starts going "too far".

PONDER ON THIS
King David, was known as a man after God's own heart, yet he succumbed because we let his eyes roam and was in the wrong place at the wrong time. He used his influence and charm wrongly

Sampson Was the strongest man to ever live. He defeated armies single handedly. He did things that would make the competitors of "world's strongest man" look like 8 year old ballerinas. Yet sexual temptation over came him, because we got involved with someone that was not of God.

All these were great men of God, who the only thing wrong recorded about them was wrong sexual relationships. Many great men of God in our time have lost their ministry because sexual immorality entered the equation. They let down their guard and in an instant they fell. Never underestimate the power of raging hormones and compromising situations, the devil knows how to use them. If such powerful men could fall, don't think you will strong enough to resist in the midst of it. You play in a snake pit, you are bound to get bitten.

Abraham the friend of God allowed himself to get into bed with his maid servant, today the world is at unrest as a result of that "one time"

Joseph is the only person in the bible that has not one wrong recorded against him. When he was faced with temptation, he did not stay there to try and talk her out of it. He ran as fast as he could
Don't stay there and try to be cool. GUYS, don't try and be "the man" cool calm and collected when you are about to get burnt.

I’m no expert when it comes to relationships, so you really don’t have to take anything I’m saying seriously, but I’ve learned that we often know the truth deep down inside before anyone else ever tells us.